Larger Than Life June 29, 2008
Posted by carpebanana in : Ramblings , trackbackMy 4th of July celebration this year just is not going to satisfy me. And it’s all Wal*Mart’s fault for bringing out my covetous nature.
The current Wal*Mart flyer is brightly displayed on our refrigerator. Not because of their motto: Save money. Live better. which strikes me as rather ironic given the fact they are encouraging us to spend money, but because of the pictures.
The front cover shows a juicy cheeseburger complete with all the toppings (even swiss cheese and a nice slice of hopefully salmonella free tomato). But the best part? This burger itself measures seven and 5/8 inches across and is almost 2 inches thick. I could really sink my teeth into that. In fact, the whole family could eat pretty well from that.
Then inside they go on with all the perfect picnic sidedishes. Hot dogs, steak, ribs, fried chicken, potato salad, baked beans, grilled corn with those parallel grilling lines that are a mystery to me and all too much butter which amazingly just sits on top of the corn, wedges of juicy cantaloupe. The picture of grilling being done by an anonymous male, all we can see of him is his hand, just enough to know that he is young and a tidy griller, with three children joyfully playing in the sprinkler and no one pulling anyone’s hair or screaming for Mo-o-o-o-o-o-o-om. The ice cubes in the drinks sparkle. The napkins do not blow away. There are no insects to be seen.
And on the back cover, a sweet little girl with no spills on herself smiling demurely while holding her ice cream cone. No “how come I only get one scoop” or “can’t we have Klondikes instead?” or “why didn’t you make the cake with a flag on the top made of blueberries and strawberries?” And next to her, the picture of perfectly toasted S’mores. Yes. Golden marshmallows, graham crackers that broke right on the score lines, and Hershey bar looking gooey yet not melted and dripping all over the place. Not to mention, each S’more measures four and 3/4 inches on a side and two inches thick.
Ah, yes, bring on the picnic foods. I will be closing my eyes and pretending they look just like the ones in this ad. At least I can console myself that my food will be much tastier than the newsprint flyer inspiring me.
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That reminds me, we have company coming over for the forth and I need to clean the toilets…did they have clean bathrooms with perfect patriotic guest towels in the spread…