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So Much for Doug Adams February 26, 2008

Posted by carpebanana in : Bananalets , 2comments

Discussion after lunch today:

Zems

Miss Language was reading random quotes from the Hitchhiker’s Guide books. She hit this one, “No one really knows what mattresses are meant to gain from their lives either. They are large, friendly, pocket-sprung creatures that live quiet private lives in the marshes of Sqornshellous Zeta. Many of them get caught, slaughtered, dried out, shipped out and slept on. None of them seems to mind this and all of them are called Zem.”

After a pause of just a second or so, Miss Dog Lover tersely and authoritatively replied, “That’s rubbish.”

Plans February 26, 2008

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Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

To A Mouse

~~~ Robert Burns

 
WEE, sleekit, cow’rin, tim’rous beastie,
O, what a panic’s in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
                    Wi’ bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an’ chase thee,         5
                    Wi’ murd’ring pattle!
 
I’m truly sorry man’s dominion,
Has broken nature’s social union,
An’ justifies that ill opinion,
                    Which makes thee startle         10
At me, thy poor, earth-born companion,
                    An’ fellow-mortal!
 
I doubt na, whiles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen icker in a thrave         15
                    ’S a sma’ request;
I’ll get a blessin wi’ the lave,
                    An’ never miss’t!
 
Thy wee bit housie, too, in ruin!
It’s silly wa’s the win’s are strewin!         20
An’ naething, now, to big a new ane,
                    O’ foggage green!
An’ bleak December’s winds ensuin,
                    Baith snell an’ keen!
 
Thou saw the fields laid bare an’ waste,         25
An’ weary winter comin fast,
An’ cozie here, beneath the blast,
                    Thou thought to dwell—
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
                    Out thro’ thy cell.         30
 
That wee bit heap o’ leaves an’ stibble,
Has cost thee mony a weary nibble!
Now thou’s turn’d out, for a’ thy trouble,
                    But house or hald,
To thole the winter’s sleety dribble,         35
                    An’ cranreuch cauld!
 
But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain;
The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men
                    Gang aft agley,         40
An’lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
                    For promis’d joy!
 
Still thou art blest, compar’d wi’ me
The present only toucheth thee:
But, Och! I backward cast my e’e.         45
                    On prospects drear!
An’ forward, tho’ I canna see,
                    I guess an’ fear!

 

Some years back, this poem inspired a discussion between Miss Language and myself about just what the past tense of “gang” would be, anyhow. “Ganged?” “Gangled?” “Gung?”

You probably don’t want to know how long, and how many creative verbs we went through before we decided to keep it simple and settle on “Went.”

Incredible February 26, 2008

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Every now and then I see something that makes me wonder if I am just on Candid Camera, or, if not, what has gone fundamentally wrong in the world, anyhow.

Today there was a discussion about PedEggs. We are TV free here, so I had no idea what a PedEgg was and felt deprived. I asked Google and now am somewhat sorry I did. Seems it is some sort of device for shredding cells (hopefully dead ones) off your feet. Yuck.

Ped-Egg1

If you bop over to their site, you can read “testimonials”: “I could not believe what I saw when I dumped the shavings after just one use.” Yuck.

You get two Ped Eggs in an offer. You can even buy them wholesale. I’m thinking what a perfect item they’d be in among the jelly beans and chocolate bunnies in Easter baskets. Yuck.

And, tell me, which feature is better in this part of the blurb: #1 ~ The unique “egg” shape of the PedEgg not only looks great… or #2 ~ “Best of all, PedEgg has been designed to collect all the skin shavings in a convenient storage compartment… just what are we storing these skin shavings for?  Yuck.