Trying Too Hard June 22, 2007
Posted by carpebanana in : Ramblings , trackbackSometimes I feel like our machines work too hard. Our car has all these little beep beeps that let you know you did something wrong. (Beep beep, you dummy, you tried to open the automatic door while it was locked) (Beep beep, you dummy, you forgot to turn off the lights) Our microwave beeps helpfully every 30 seconds if it finishes its cycle but you don’t come open the door. And our new oven beeps to let you know you forgot to push the start button after setting the temperature, and it beeps again to let you know when it has attained the heat you asked for.So you can see why I would not want this heater.
lt reminds me far, far too much of the doors in Life, the Universe and Everything which are so annoying to Zaphod Beeblebrox.
He took a series of very shallow breaths, and then said as quickly and as quietly as he could, “Door, if you can hear me, say so very, very quietly.”
Very, very quietly, the door murmured, “I can hear you.”
“Good. Now, in a moment, I’m going to ask you to open. When you open I do not want you to say that you enjoyed it, okay?”
“Okay.”
“And I don’t want you to say to me that I have made a simple door very happy, or that it is your pleasure to open for me and your satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done, okay?”
“Okay.”
“And I do not want you to ask me to have a nice day, understand?”
“I understand.”
“Okay,” said Zaphod, tensing himself, “open now.”
The door slid open quietly. Zaphod slipped quitely through. The door closed quietly behind him.
“Is that the way you like it, Mr. Beeblebrox?” said the door out loud.
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